The women in my genes

My throat buzzes with energy to be told

The story of my life

That goes back through generations of women who had their chance here

When their world was revolving around them and the thought of not mattering didn’t exist

Here they are just stored in files, names and dates, trees with branches forgotten

They branch from me

So many women going in all directions

Each one with a story;  I was born, I lived, I died.

Their stories never reached paper that I could know their inner workings

 

Come to me women- I will write for you. Mothers and daughters passing down codes of what it is to be a woman.

They watch with eagerness to see me find their names, say them, give them an existence

Abigail, Alice, Ellen, Alice, Margaret, Hanna, Sarah, Agnes, Charlotte, Sarah, Martha, Lina, Mary, Eliza, Martha, Sarah, Mary, Hannah, Hannah, Sarah

Matilda, Mary Ann, Caroline, Elizath, Bonnie, Emily, Anna, Ann, Martha, Mary, Susanna, Charlotte, Jane, Ann, Barbara, Viola

37 is nothing...

WAHOO!!  37th year of life I am ready to make my mark and create a year full of lasting memories. To gain wisdom, more friends, deeper relationships, go to Italy again, become certified in Rapid Eye Technology and start practicing.  I plan to enjoy my life, to keep playing and living in the moment. Whatever comes, I am sticking with the Lord.  That is the most important thing I can do.

Fresh white snow...

no tracks, is what this day lays out for me.  I have been thinking about what to review or plan for.  A big question on my mind, as I drive back from Provo after spending New Years with friends, is how do I come to know all the lyrics to Ice Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice?  I sang the whole thing without skipping a beat, except when I was laughing at myself as the DJ revolved it. 

My intention this year is to live in love, peace, joy and gratitude for where I am. 

"The world has become continuously flowing, evolving in an exquisitely coordinated evolutionary dance in which significance and source are overwhelming".

Peace

 

"The world one sees is illuminated by the exquisite beauty and perfection of creation- everything happens effortlessly by synchronicity, and the world and everything in it is seen to be an expression of love and divinity".

Joy

 

--Power verses Force

Feet facing the sun, hitting the down beat to the music I am listening to.  I soar in my hammock.  My body soaks in the sun and remembers recent times under the Italian sun. It remembers just a year ago that the sun hurt.  Gratitude for health and swinging where I am right now.  With memories spilling over.

The big tree of liberty, love and peace

July 30, 2012 - Under the big tree at the big yellow house with blues the dog and Teresa the artist. 
I am ready to return home, go back to my life and stop living out of a suitcase. I don't know why I couldn't return next summer. I have confidence that I could make it, and I have great friends to stay with. 
This first trip of mine to Italy makes me smile and tear up. Was it what I expected? I have travelled many places and have learned about Italian history and culture. I lived in the moment, soaked in everything. I explored the streets here and the "streets of my life". I got to stay with many different families, to see how they live, how families work here. I had time to try the food, all the things they enjoy eating. Time to understand what my body likes and doesn't like. I broke through fears my body had and worked on fears I had about my body. I have felt very close to God and felt guided and growth here. I practiced letting people know me. I have had time to ponder and relax, just to think about life.  I have enjoyed taking pictures, reading, learning, studying history, asking questions about everything. I love what others have shared with me. I have taken time to enjoy the bells tolling, the architecture, people watching, nature, churches. The free time has been enjoyed. Having my own agenda was great- being able to wander and do what I want, just me!  I have made the best out of tough times. Had fun being frivolous, shopping and spending money, eating loads of gelatto!  I have come to learn the importance of the church I belong to. That it offers a fullness of the gospel of Jesus Christ. It is his church restored in these days with the saving power and ordinances that gives us access to God.

Dreaming

I wrote in my journal once - dreaming is hard to come by such a practical person. 
June 6, 2012, 9:30 pm journal entry as I was entertained by the view of Borgio Vareze. 

How do I describe how lucky I feel to be here.  I am in this completely gorgeous place.  It is an evening with the Ligurian sea breezing through the ivy colored arches, bringing with it the cool blue of the water, the flirty green texture of the hills. Orange, pink, yellow buildings are beginning to glow with the night lights. The clouds sit relaxing in the sky overhead.

So I could hang my shingle here, do therapy.  My name could spread through the region here and people would come.  I could live in a year-round Mediterranean climate, by the seaside. I could have an office in Tuscany that I worked in one week of the month.  (the music right now is telling me to get up and boogie).  I could teach a yoga class on the beach. I could have a place to rent out a couple bedrooms to tourists. I could own a stand where I sold gelatto snow cones.
 I can do anything!